Neither adolescent nor fully adult? Here is a short guide to the adventures to be lived and the challenges to be met before you are thirty years old. To be completed by everyone.
There is no denying that 30 years is a milestone. We are starting to tell ourselves that we are no longer quite young … and we are far from being quite old. And then, it’s weird 30 years. A generation ago, at that age we were very often owners, we were married and had one, two … sometimes three children already. Now it’s different, we have more choices, more doubts.
Now, when we are thirty, we sometimes do the math like Rachel in Friends, to find out what we have accomplished, and especially when we have to meet the man of our life so that all our plans go off without a hitch.
To have no regrets, here is a non-exhaustive list of things to have done when you blow out this thirtieth candle.
Take risks in your love and sex life
Do you feel like it’s a life at risk that you are offered? The most dangerous, but also the ones that will bring you the most fun and energy and emotions, these are the risks that you will take with others, including in love.
So you will take the first step towards a man, or a woman, or both. Rather than waiting for him to come to us, guided by Tinder, Happn, Once (or another somewhat special dating app … to finally find the right person).
Sometimes it will work, sometimes it will be he or she who will come to you. And who knows, maybe your paths will cross again. It depends on the chemistry between you.
Create your own cozy nest
We may be the Tanguy generation, the arrival of the 30s is without a doubt the ultimate moment to leave your parents. Yes, we like that it smells like carrot beef when you come from work, yes we found a nice balance between the evenings eating at the family home and those where we make a living. And of course, we understand the financial advantage. But taste this pure and hard independence, and you will wonder why you did not do it earlier! And then mom and dad will always be there, starting with the day of the move.
For some, it has been a long time since they left the cozy family nest. For his studies, for his job, or simply for his independence. But the beginnings of adult life very often rhyme with a low budget and especially in big cities, small budgets rhyme with nine square meters.
At 30, you want to have a big apartment. Living in a studio as big as a handbag has its charm, which dissipates over the nights spent on a sofa bed whose feet extend over the landing as long as there is the crazy idea of unfolding it.
Learn to become an adult
We do not fully assume that after 18 years, we are no longer quite adolescents. What are we then? Normally adults, but learning is sometimes a bit rough. We will already start by gaining independence. For example by passing the permit.
The unbearable voice of the GPS, the hole in the ozone layer, solidarity with taxis, and bartenders, are not valid reasons to remain dependent on those who have overcome their allergy while driving. Besides that from three children, it becomes difficult with the scooter.
Another step, and not least, we are trying to get a real job. Not the temporary one, the vacation one, but the one we really want to do.
That is to say: not an unpaid permanent contract of 70 hours per week which formerly was called “internship”. A real job is a job for which you receive a four-digit salary, without commas in the middle, a payslip, and a minimum of recognition of your hierarchy.
Find out who we really are
Between his adolescent rebellion and his 30th birthday, we build ourselves. We shape our personality, our aspirations, our needs, our desires. We will first forgive our parents for what we are not “because” of them. Millionaire, blonde, pianist, self-confident … It is not entirely their fault, and then we live very well under a brown fringe.
We assume who we are, physically too. So, we only buy clothes in our size. The truth. Not that of when we will have made this diet that we “procrastinate” for half a dozen years, nor that of the jeans which make us take out the veins of the forehead so it is tight.
We learn to say no. To our boss, to a month of camping in Ireland or to a Paris-Barcelona round trip with stops in Bangkok and Sidney… and we assume our passions, whether treks in Nepal or binge-watching series on Saturday evening.
To be under thirty is to give yourself the opportunity to be still a child while doing great things for adults. And to be still a child, it is tested exciting little things, it is to re-try experiences hoping that they will be better, it is to say: “and at worst it does not work”.